The Parent Child Connection:
The material from The Parent Child Connection is deep. Allison will discuss things in this course that you may never have thought about let alone discussed. It is the what you didn’t know you didn’t know course! Yet, when you hear the subjects, it will feel familiar because it relates to all of us and our patterns of behaviour. Perhaps you have read a lot of books, that is great, taking a course can deepen your learning.
Ineffective communication by adults is the root cause of aggression, rebellion and low self-esteem in our kids. It is just that simple. There are listening and speaking don’ts and listening and speaking do’s. Discover them. Many parents think they disagree about limits but it is usually about how the limits are set and the words we use that cause concern. Communication can create emotional safety that allows for growth or it can intrude on the healthy development of a self. You choose.
As the course moves forward, parents learn conflict resolution and coaching skills. Of course this information applies to all relationships. Developing knowledge of feelings and needs is life changing! Conflict will no longer be a win/loose or fight to the finish. This course helps parents develop the reflective pause that can turn chaos into calm.
Finally, Allison digs into boundaries. We all have blind spots. Some of us are over-controlling but we are so loving with our control that it might be hard to pinpoint. Messy boundaries are not about a lack of love, love actually isn’t the issue. Intrusiveness can appear to be supportive, but it isn’t. Over-protection can appear to be caring, but it isn’t. Indulgence can feel loving, but it’s not……… Once we see healthy boundaries there is no turning back and if we do take that step back, we figure it out. We all grow by taking two steps forward, one step back!
Self-esteem is not making your child feel that they are special or better than. As a matter of fact, the love of being ordinary is the foundation for living an extraordinary life. You might be surprised to hear how we inadvertently contribute to low self-esteem in our kids. Knowing this matters and will boost your self-esteem too.
Course Schedule & Content
Week One – Systems Feelings Or Being an adult in the room : Our unconscious reactions often undermine our values. They stop us from using the skills that we have. 95% of our behaviour is unconscious. Once we bring understanding to our reactions (and we all have a unique set of them), we begin to make changes that allow us to express our true feelings and use our skills. Changes begin to happen on a deeper level. When do you listen to children with empathy and when do you shift out of a conversation. How is anxiety being passed from one family member to another?
Week Two – The Intelligence of Emotions: Our discomfort stems from an accumulation of unmet needs. Learning to identify our needs and values is a primary source of deepening our relationships and bringing more peace to our lives. Teaching children a feeling vocabulary is not sufficient. They need to know what to do with those feelings. If as adults, we don’t understand this, how do we teach this to our kids?
Week Three – Deep Listening: When have you felt really heard? How did that feel? How do you listen? When do you need to give listening everything you’ve got? Do you know the listening road blocks that interfere with deeper listening? This skill turns things around very quickly in families. Often we are inadvertently shoving feelings down in other family members which brings about more challenging behaviour with kids. In adult relationships, it creates distance and misunderstandings.
Week Four – Speaking without Regrets: Many people don’t know how to address an issue without using typical speaking don’ts. For those of you who avoid conflict, I can assure you that this chapter will shore up your boundaries. Boundaries need to be taught to those we spend time with. If we don’t teach other people how to treat us, we end up feeling victimized, resentful and basically unhappy. Depression for example, is anger turned inward. We will look at the skills and language you can use to create your boundaries. Practicing effective speaking brings about a sense of cooperation and harmony in families.
Week Five – Conflict Resolution: Why do some discussions go sideways? Where does conflict reach a tipping point into defensiveness and shut down? How do we solve problems with others? Problem solving is the number one skill shown to take people to a higher level of functioning. Kids need to learn this skill. This chapter also covers a brief lesson on how to coach others.
Week Six – Boundaries in Families: Over…control, protection, indulgence, nagging, intrusiveness to name a few behaviours create boundary issues. As parents, we impact the character of our children if we continuously cross certain lines. As adults, we carry the boundary busters into our present relationships unconsciously. Naming and identifying these boundaries brings about meaningful change. How do you get out of nagging? Do you over-function in your family?
Week Seven – Interpersonal Boundaries: Are you too agreeable? Do you easily give in? Can you have direct communication with someone you are in conflict with or do you avoid them and complain to someone else? Do you interfere with your partner’s parenting? Your kid’s arguments? Gossip at work? Avoid difficult conversations?
Week Eight – Self-Esteem: What does it mean? How do we grow a healthy self? How do we contribute to our children’s self-esteem? How do we fire the inner-critic to bring about internal peace?
Testimonials from 2020 Course:
“My husband and I took Sidestepping and The Parent Child Connection consecutively which has helped us immensely, giving us new tools and a different perspective to our parenting approach. Allison provdes useful information for parents with kids of all ages and facilitates her courses making each participant feel like they are getting one on one coaching. Due to pandemic and the need to move to online classes, Allison transitioned the course smoothly, without interruption and to a new level of support while in our own home. Allison truly care for each family and their unique needs; this shines through in all her interactions.” – Beth and Hubby
“I thought this course was just for parents with young kids so I was skeptical at first. I was referred by my Doctor because I was going through a major crisis with my teenage daughter. By the third week, I had so much to work with that I felt equipped and able to move things in a positive direction with my daughter. We started talking again! Moreso, I pulled back and got more clarity with my boundaries. I didn’t realize how much of the problems we had were a result of me repeating the ineffective behaviours from my own childhood. I will take this course over and over again as it is all about personal growth. My daughter says thank you!” – Shannon W.