Birds and Bees

My son is 6 and in kindergarten. He has been told by an older child about....."humping". He told us that this older boy told him that humping is when a man rubs his penis on a woman's vagina and then told him that this was how he was created. My son told my husband this and asked if it was true. My husband was in shock, and not knowing what to say, said he didn't think this older boy knew what he was talking about. I told my son I was very glad that he came and talked to us when he felt unsure about something especially something to do with private parts. I would like to tell him the truth but not get into a lot of details. I am afraid that he will ask a lot of specifics (he is very articulate) and I don't want to go there since he's so young. As well I am afraid if I tell him he will educate his buddies in his kindergarten class and the other moms will hate me.

The Importance of Providing Accurate Information Early

Personally I think it's good for children to have as much accurate information as they want about this subject as early as possible. It takes the mystery out of it, and leaves them less vulnerable to inaccurate information coming from peers.

My younger son was born when my older son was about to enter kindergarten, and my older son told his entire kindergarten class all about it, from conception to birth. The teacher told us about it, and added "I didn't stop him because it was all accurate."

At this age kids have no natural shame about all these things; shame comes later when sexuality is made sordid and weird by the media and the peer group.

Let's give kids the truth, told in a loving way, when they are very young.

Teach them the right names for body parts, describe what happens, and then they can answer other kids' misinformation with accurate information. This also helps in sexual abuse prevention.

There are very good books you can read to children on this subject  ask your children's librarian. One of my favourites is "A Very Touching Book," which has hilarious illustrations of naked bodies and can be used to prevent unwanted touching as well as to teach about body parts.

Meanwhile, you and your husband owe your son some accurate information. Tell your son that some kids call it "humping" but putting a penis in a vagina is actually making love, something men and women who love each other do together, and it can result in a baby beginning to grow in the woman's uterus.

Answer any questions your son asks clearly and accurately in language he can understand.

It is us rather than our children who are embarrassed about this subject. Kids will just accept what we tell them and feel relieved that they now understand. I doubt that the other moms will hate you  they may just feel glad that your son did their job for them!

Conclusion

While it can feel uncomfortable, having these conversations early and in an honest way helps set a strong foundation for your child’s understanding of their body and relationships.

Give them the information they need in a way they can understand, and trust that they will handle it appropriately.