Three other parents and all our respective children witnessed two boys abusing a cat, two days in a row.

They were trying to suspend the cat from a tree, from playground equipment, and were going to push it down the slide, etc.

It was very upsetting.

The animal appeared terrified but was compliant, as though accustomed to abuse.

I’ve never seen a cat in such a fearful, self-protected posture, its tail and hind end so tight as it tried to "walk" with them on a harness.

I wanted to take the cat but figured that wasn’t permitted.

I am going to find out who the parents are and hope they are reasonable people.

But can you tell me, besides telling the boys to stop, what can bystanders do in such a situation?

Do you call the police or an animal rights group?

As for immediate action, can you take the animal out of harm's way?

Adults are so afraid to approach children now—maybe it’s illegal, maybe the parents will overreact.

The Fear of Intervening

There have been studies on "bystander intervention" which highlight the fact that people are often afraid to intervene in situations where harm is being done, even to human beings.

Everyone hopes someone else will take action, but they don’t.

We’re afraid of being personally harmed, sued, or disapproved by our peers.

We escort our own children safely home from school because we don’t trust others in the community to keep them safe.

We keep our own children away from those children who have problems or behave in unacceptable ways, further isolating them.

We need to change this situation and become a community again.

Understanding the Boys' Intentions

You didn’t mention how old the boys were.

Did they seem like they were trying to abuse the cat, or were they just playing with it?

Young children often want to treat animals like living dolls, without realizing how the animals feel.

When we got a cat, my son was five and constantly wanted to grab and play with the cat, to the point that the cat began to hide at the sight of him.

He just didn’t understand that cats don’t like to be squished.

Teaching Empathy Towards Animals

In situations like this, adults need to teach children what it might feel like to be the animal.

For example, I would suddenly grab my son and hold him tight so he couldn’t move.

When he’d complain, I’d ask, “How do you think Velvet (the cat) feels when you do this to him?”

If the boys were playing with the cat without recognizing its feelings, speaking to their parents and making them aware might be enough.

You could even suggest ways to teach the boys to be kinder to animals.

When It’s Intentional Animal Abuse

If the boys were actually trying to abuse the cat, the situation is different.

Children who intentionally abuse animals are often themselves victims of abuse, re-enacting their own frightening experiences by being in control.

These children need help.

Unfortunately, speaking to their parents might just get them punished without teaching them how to behave differently, or without addressing their own abusive situations.

Considering the Consequences of Parental Reactions

As an adult, you need to be brave and not worry about what the boys’ parents might think of you.

However, you do need to be concerned about what will happen to the boys if they get in trouble at home.

If the parents are reasonable, the consequences will be reasonable.

If not, you might save the cat this time, but the boys could be punished severely, or neglected, and the cat might end up hurt and scared even more later on.

Immediate Action: Intervening and Next Steps

In either case, the first step is to stop the abuse by intervening.

Pick up the cat and confront the boys, telling them that what they’re doing is hurting and frightening the cat, and that it’s not okay.

Watch their reactions and determine whether they’re just unaware (as younger children often are) or whether they’re being deliberately cruel.

If they’re unaware, ask where they live and take them home with the cat to speak with their parents.

If they’re being cruel, call the police, who will hopefully give the boys a warning.

The police will also have the authority to convince the parents that these boys are troubled and may need further help.

Conclusion

In situations like these, it’s important for adults to step in and stop the abuse, while also carefully considering the best approach to help both the animal and the children involved.

Whether it’s a matter of teaching empathy or addressing deeper issues, intervention is key in protecting the well-being of both the cat and the boys.

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