Getting Going in the Morning

Struggling to Get My Nine-Year-Old Daughter Going in the Morning

I need some help with getting my nine-year-old daughter going in the morning.

After her alarm clock goes off, I have to remind her at least three times to get up.

She plays with the cat and talks instead of eating her breakfast.

She is so distractible that she can take 20 minutes in the bathroom!

It doesn't bother her to be late for school since she doesn't get into trouble for lateness, so there is no natural consequence unless you count my irritability.

What can I do?

Is the Expectation Too High?

I'm wondering whether you're expecting too much of your daughter.

She evidently doesn't have the maturity to focus her attention and do things within a short time frame.

Many young children are unable to do this.

Preventing the Problem: Practical Suggestions

Here are some ideas to prevent the problem from occurring:

Getting Up Earlier

By getting up earlier, your daughter will have more time to do what she needs to.

The same goes for bedtime—can you start earlier?

Young children are often more distractible than parents expect.

Allow time for distractions instead of expecting them to organize themselves like adults.

Considering Low Blood Sugar

Your daughter may have low blood sugar in the morning, as many children do.

A glass of juice right by her bed for her to drink before she does anything may help her get going.

Using Charts for Reminders

Since your daughter is old enough to read, can you put up charts with reminders of what she has to do?

She can help make the charts, with one in the bathroom and one in the kitchen.

She can check off tasks as she completes them.

The chart will replace your reminding and nagging.

At this age, charts work well, and your daughter will feel proud of herself for completing tasks and checking them off.

You could even use stickers on the chart as rewards.

Allowing Natural Consequences

We parents often protect our children from consequences that seem unpleasant for them.

However, those situations might be exactly what they need to motivate change.

No More Waking Her Up

Tell your daughter that you won't wake her up anymore.

Move her alarm clock to the far side of her bedroom so it will ring and ring until she gets out of bed to turn it off.

Then, let it happen.

Letting Her Experience the Consequences

If your daughter isn't ready for school in time, take her there in her pajamas, with her clothes in a bag.

You may be rescuing her from this kind of natural consequence when she needs it to happen.

If being late to school isn't a sufficient consequence, the embarrassment of arriving in her pajamas will be!

I imagine it will only happen once.

Conclusion

While mornings can be challenging, adjusting your expectations and allowing for natural consequences may help your daughter become more responsible.

Simple strategies like getting up earlier, using charts, or letting her experience the consequences of her actions can make a big difference.

With time and consistency, she’ll learn to get herself going in the morning without constant reminders.

‍