Teaching a Child Not To Steal

Our son is seven years old and we have been having trouble with him stealing for some time. It is really starting to scare me. He has stolen from stores (we made him return the merchandise and apologize and store management spoke with him about what happens when you steal and where it can lead.) He has stolen from others in school (we brought him to school and spoke with the principal and returned the items.) Now he has been caught stealing from us and his grandparents. My husband and I don't know what to do. I don't want him to end up in jail in the future. I have a younger brother that had this problem and our mother never did anything about it and now he has been to jail several times and I don't want my son to end up in the same situation. My husband and I give our children everything they need and reward them for good grades, kindness to others and generally doing the right thing. We don't buy them toys as a reward, we buy educational computer games, clothing,etc.

Understanding Stealing at a Young Age

First of all, it’s important to know that it’s fairly normal for children of this age to steal.

It does not mean that your son will end up in jail like your brother.

I remember both my brother and my son stealing at this age, and it did not continue into adulthood.

Your son may not fully understand the concept of private property yet.

Perhaps, because you’ve always given him everything he needs, he doesn’t understand that things belong to certain people, and that money has to be earned and spent wisely.

Teaching Private Property and Ownership

Your job now is to teach him about private property, so he will understand that some things belong to him and some belong to other people.

The first step is to ensure your son has personal property that no one else is allowed to touch without his permission.

He should keep it in his room, and he doesn’t have to share it unless he chooses to.

Make it a point to ask his permission before using his things.

If he takes something from you, explain that what he’s taken is your personal property.

Let him know that just as he has to ask if he wants something of yours, you have to ask for his permission too.

Introducing an Allowance

Now, give your son an allowance from which he can buy anything he wants.

Ask other parents what’s appropriate for a seven-year-old—usually between two and five dollars a week.

It’s important to stress that this money is for whatever he wants, including toys.

Children need to make their own choices about what they own, and toys encourage imaginative play, which educational products don’t always provide.

Teaching About Money and Value

Take your son shopping to spend his allowance at places like a toy store, a bead shop, or a store that sells shiny rocks—somewhere he can afford items with his own money.

Let him count the money himself, help him figure out what he can afford, and allow him to hand the money to the sales clerk.

This will teach him that possessions cost money and that money is limited.

If something costs more than his allowance, help him figure out how to save up for it.

If he takes something from the store, explain that the sales clerk may have to pay for it herself, which wouldn’t be fair.

Earning Money for Extra Chores

Give your son the opportunity to earn money in addition to his weekly allowance.

Find small chores that he can do for a dollar or so.

This will help him understand the connection between money and work.

He will start to grasp that possessions cost money, and people have to work to earn that money.

Explain that you work to earn the money you give him for his allowance, and the sales clerk works to earn her paycheck too.

Approaching the Problem with Patience

Don’t make a big deal about it if he steals again.

Use each incident as an opportunity to teach.

Rather than frightening him about the consequences of stealing, focus on teaching him about private property, money, and work.

The problem will likely disappear over time.

Conclusion

While stealing can be a concerning issue, it’s important to approach it with understanding and education.

By teaching your child about ownership, money, and the value of work, you can guide him away from stealing.

With patience and practical lessons, he will learn to respect other people’s belongings and make responsible choices.