With the upcoming Christmas season, we are having to address questions about Christmas. We are not religious and merely enjoy the festive season as a holiday time to celebrate family and friends. We do not decorate or exchange gifts. We make a point of spending time with family and friends far and near. We do not know how to share our chosen method of celebrating without having our children feel "different" or "left out."
This is a difficult issue. Your children may feel "different" and "left out" if all their friends celebrate Christmas and they don’t. However, in North America, Christmas has become less about its Christian origins and more of a blend of religious and secular traditions, like Santa Claus and Rudolph.
Children can get confused between the religious aspects and the commercial ones. Some Christian families try to celebrate Christmas strictly as the birth of Jesus, leaving out Santa, which puts them in a similar position to those trying to reject the materialistic aspects of Christmas.
In my opinion, materialism is the biggest issue with Christmas for both thoughtful Christians and non-Christians. The overwhelming commercial pressure to buy, buy, buy can start as early as November.
Toys and things are pushed on us, many of which won’t last long. Low-income parents feel pressured to spend on huge Christmas gifts, often sacrificing basic needs. As a result, children may not truly appreciate what they get, and the rush of the holiday season can leave people feeling more stressed than joyful.
Some people reject the whole thing, but this can leave kids feeling left out of the celebration altogether.
There are still positive values in how our culture celebrates Christmas, regardless of religious beliefs. One such value is time spent with family and friends. When my extended family gathers for Christmas, we play charades, board games, and bridge.
The holiday season provides a much-needed opportunity for family fun, away from the pressure of daily life.
Another important value is tradition. Since Christmas comes with holidays from work and school, it’s a great time for families to create their own traditions, especially if they don’t agree with the materialistic values pushed by society.
Celebration is another key aspect. Every culture has its festivals, whether it's Diwali, Holi, or Christmas. These festivals are about special food, decorations, and dressing up. Children are often captivated by the festive atmosphere, and they deserve the excitement of celebration.
Even if you reject the materialism and religion associated with Christmas, you don’t have to get rid of the festivity. You can still decorate a tree or your house without involving religious or commercial elements. It's a way to bring joy and warmth into your home during the dark winter days.
What about gifts? My son once told me that children at school compare their Christmas gifts, and those who receive less expensive gifts are often ridiculed. Peer pressure can make a child feel excluded if they don't participate in gift-giving.
A six-year-old or even a teenager may not be able to confidently say, "My family doesn’t give Christmas gifts," without facing ridicule.
While there are values worth standing up for, like anti-racism, is the "no gifts" stance really worth that kind of pressure on your child?
For young children, much of the excitement lies in the process of unwrapping gifts rather than in the actual gifts themselves. Even small, thoughtful gifts can bring joy. A gift, no matter the size, tells the recipient that they are loved and cared for.
You don’t have to spend extravagantly. You could consider buying gifts from agencies that support developing countries or making handmade gifts that show genuine care and thought.
Even for non-Christians, there are spiritual values within Christmas that are worth celebrating. Songs and carols often convey messages of hope, love, and joy—values that transcend religious boundaries.
These carols offer a reminder that there is something greater than human struggles, something we all need to hear.
Christmas is about family, traditions, celebration, and joy. Whether or not you celebrate it for religious reasons, it’s possible to keep the festivities alive while rejecting the parts of the holiday that don’t align with your values.
It’s not about abandoning Christmas but rather reshaping it in a way that makes sense for your family. Joy to the world, in whatever form that takes for you!