The Curious Child

Parent #1: My 20-month-old son likes to touch and explore everything. When I was in the kitchen, he was always there, going into the cupboards, pulling out my mixer, canned foods—anything he could get his hands on. So we have now gated both entries to the kitchen. He climbs everything and has no fear of anything.
Parent #2: My daughter is very curious. When I ask her not to do something (keep away from my private drawers; stop taking apart toys; do not play with tools, electronics, or valuables), she will either do it one more time or sneak into it behind my back. It seems like the more she is forbidden, the more she wants to do or see. This worries me to death that she will carry on this attitude into her teens with sex and drugs. How can I teach her to respect others' private possessions and make her understand the dangers of being too curious?

Understanding Curiosity

These children have something in common: insatiable curiosity. This is largely a matter of temperament. Some children are simply more active and curious than others. Often, these are very intelligent children with a strong need to learn about everything by experience. If you have a child with high curiosity, the first step is to accept this about your child and not try to change them.

Babyproofing for Curious Infants and Toddlers

If your child is an infant or toddler, you need to baby-proof your house:

• Have sturdy furniture that is safe to climb on.
• Cover electric sockets and place computers and electronic equipment out of reach.
• Store breakable items in upper cupboards and keep items like plastic containers and canned food in lower ones, so your child can explore and play safely.

Real-life objects are often more interesting to children than the plastic items we call "toys." Gates can be useful, but don’t lock your child out of the area where you are working, or they may feel abandoned. Toddlers need to be near their parents.

Accept the Mess

Kids make messes; it's just part of being a kid. Their curiosity represents a desire to learn, and you don't want to squash that. Children will take things apart to learn how they're made, but they don’t yet have the ability to put them back together. Remember, your children's development is more important than having a perfectly tidy house.

Teaching About Danger

Teach your child about danger. Use the word “Danger” to warn them about knives, electricity, and other hazardous objects. You can demonstrate what might happen by pretending to get hurt—like putting your finger near the socket or the knife near your arm and yelling "Ow!" This can help them understand the concept of danger without experiencing it firsthand.

Teaching About Private Property

Help your child understand the concept of private property by allowing them to have possessions that no one else can touch without their permission and providing a special place to store these items. When they touch someone else’s property without permission, patiently explain that they wouldn't want others to do the same with their belongings. Over time, they will learn to respect boundaries.

Consequences for School-Age Children

A school-age child is old enough to understand consequences, such as confiscating an item, if they repeatedly touch things they aren’t allowed to. However, make sure there are plenty of things they are allowed to touch and play with, including safe kitchen and garden tools. Young kids love to help and try adult activities. If you let them help when they’re little, they will often enjoy doing chores when they’re older.

Preparing for the Teenage Years

A child who explores in the preschool years won't necessarily become a teenager who experiments with sex and drugs. However, if your child has a temperament that leads them to constantly investigate things, you need to educate them before they are tempted to try them.

Educate your pre-teenager about sex, drugs, and other potential dangers. Prepare them for the wider world by helping them learn from others' experiences, not just their own.